As the summer nights began to unfold into autumn evenings, I can't help to recognize the changing of my seasons as well. I love, love.. LOVE the summer; from my sundresses and my open toe 4 inch sandals.. my jean shorts, tanks and flip flops to the tan lines from my bikini, I love the sunshine rays raining all over me. I am excited to pack up my summer clothes because this season has changed me, rearranged me and broken me down to my lowest denominator. I have experienced every emotion you can think of... sadness, pisstivity ( I made that up), anger, boredom, pain, suffering and through it all; believe it or not, happiness. I often joke with my friend Regina, that once GOD has taken me through all this, he is going to encase me in a cocoon and a beautiful butterfly is going to appear. A butterfly so vibrant in color, so soft to the touch and so ready for the next adventure; I can't wait! Yes, as this season passes and I prepare to pull out my ankle boots, my peep toe 4 inch shoe booties and my pumps for all occasions; I am preparing for what the cool autumn nights will bring. I am looking forward to wrapping myself in the changing of the leaves and filling my lungs with the cool, brisk air as I continue my walk into a better me. I am so ready for the next door to open so I can kick this one closed while wearing my over the knee boots.
This summer as I showed my bare skin on the outside; I was exposing my nakedness on the inside. See, while most of you were enjoying the picnics, the cookouts, the summer soirees, the banging concerts and a new summer love. I was exposing myself to myself. I was recalculating my inner GPS system... looking for the right direction to place my next step; when all the time.. GOD was telling me to lean on him.. that he would carry my load. When you were eating ribs, corn on the cob, baked beans and sipping on lemonade. I was eating a big piece of humble pie and sipping on self examination. I learned who were and who will be my friends until the end. I heard GOD whisper that everything was going to be alright; that he has always had my back. The mirror that stands before me spits out the image of a woman that is vulnerable, confident and in love with a man that has been standing beside my reflection all this time. He has shown me over and over.. time after time that he is only a call away. He holds me accountable for my nonsense. He makes me want to be a better me. He is my mirror. He is my friend. As I watch the days become shorter, the air become breezy and my summer wardrobe is being packed away; I am embracing the next season, not just for my fall fashions but for the man that carries his 6'5, 240 pounds around in a size 14 wide shoe; because those are the one pair of shoes that changed my life.
